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In just a few more days, Caden Bryce will join Regan and I. So far I am feeling fine, but I am also well aware that things are moving along. Mostly though, I’m tired. I’m beginning to suspect that I’m not going to get that mythical burst of energy before I go into labour. Not that I particularly need it, since the house is clean and everything is ready for the baby. Although, there are all those baby announcements that should at least get addressed soon…

Seriously though, this is an exciting and scary time. I can’t wait to hold my baby, but I’m also concerned about his healthy and happiness, and wonder if we will be able to provide him with a good life. These are things all new parents worry about, I’m sure. Life, I know, will proceed the way it will proceed. The baby will either be colicky or not, he will either happily breastfeed or not. Although he is a helpless being (at least for a little while) he is also his own person. All I can do is provide love and support.

In some respects I am looking forward to the end of my pregnancy. Spending the last nine months carry around a baby has been surprisingly easy (except for two and a half months of Nausea and Vomiting of Pregnancy [a more severe form of morning sickness]). I’ve enjoyed the closeness that I feel has developed between the baby and me. But, I’m also looking forward to getting my body back, and to eventually eating and drinking what I like again. (I miss sushi!) I hope that I will also eventually find time to return to my spiritual pursuits and reconnect with the Tarot, both things that just haven’t seemed to work during my pregnancy. Oh yes, and it will be heaven to be able to sleep on my back again!

Things will likely be quiet around here for a little while. The baby is due on the 15th, but could show up any time. With some luck, it will be after I’ve managed to get in one more full night of sleep

With Caden Bryce due to arrive in just under two months, I’ve been taking some time to… well, take some time for myself. I’m cross stitching, sleeping (when not being kicked awake constantly), reading, watching lots of TV, taking long baths, and just enjoying myself. Of course, I am somewhat limited in what I can do since I tire so easily. No long walks on cold (or even semi-cold) days, no time spent at the busy malls, no trips to Camden. I find that my tendency to avoid crowds has only got more intense as my pregnancy as progressed.

I often find myself wondering how life is going to change come the middle of January. No sleeping through the night, I know, but what else? Will I really be run off my feet? Will I never have a minute to myself? Will Miss Q and I grow distance because we will be so focused on the baby? I don’t expect life with a new baby to be perfect, but I also don’t expect the world to cave in around me. I suppose all I can do is enjoy the calm before the storm, and be prepared for anything afterwards. One day, maybe fifteen or sixteen years down the road, I’ll have time for myself again.

In the meantime, here is a picture of one of my most recent cross stitch finishes. It is Jade Dragon by Enchanting Lair.

Miss Jade

jade rachel. 37. october 29 1978. scorpio. snake. welsh. lives in london. black hair. green eyes. tattooed. pierced. mother. daughter. sister. aunt. fiance. widow. lesbian. wiccan. hippy. geek. goth. ravenclaw

loves life, sex, bdsm, green day, enigma, enya, photography, cross-stitch, crafting, drawing, reading, fantasy, horror, sci-fi, tarot, astrology, egyptology, animals, starbucks, subway More?